The Tale of Don Julio (cheap!)

(To the well-known tune...The Cat Came Back)

Part the First, Canterbury Faire

Sir Vitale wanted to find a tourney prize
Looked in the bargain bin, what fell beneath his eyes?
A bottle going cheap, Don Julioīs brew
Vitale felt right generous, and so he brought us two.

The tourney winners came up, but no-one took the wine
It sat there on the table, ignored by all the line
Vitale didnīt want it back, gave it to his B&B
We were overwhelmed by his generosity.

The wine came back. We thought we had got rid of it.
The wine came back. No-one would dare drink of it.
The wine came back. We just couldnīt give it away.

We gave it to the King for his largesse chest
Said he could give it to the ones whoīd pleased him best
The curtain fell, the people clapped, the King he gave a grin
And gave us two green bottles, much to our chagrin.

So the wine came back. We thought we had got rid of it.
The wine came back. No-one would dare drink of it.
The wine came back. We just couldnīt give it away.

When Closing Court came round, we knelt before the King
Said we had a gift for him, to help his travelling
He saw the shape, knew what it was, his face turned slightly red
When he went that evening, he left it by his bed.

So the wine came back. We thought we had got rid of it.
The wine came back. No-one would dare drink of it.
The wine came back. We just couldnīt give it away.

Part the Second, at Rowany Festival

We took the wine to Festival far across the sea,
Thinking that it might once more be a gift for royalty
Surely thereīd be someone in need of chatisement
We kept our fingers crossed as we put it in His tent.

Would the wine come back? We hoped we had got rid of it.
Not see it back. That had to be the last of it.
Donīt let the wine came back. Oh please make it go away.

His Majesty was late returning to His bed
But when He hit the pillow, found something hard beneath his head.
An evil green bottle, bearing liquid vile
And through the darkness shone Don Julioīs broad smile.

So the wine came back. He thought He had got rid of it.
The wine came back. No-one would dare drink of it.
The wine came back. He just couldnīt give it away.

At Royal Court the King told the story of the wine
Told the folk assembled there about the vintage fine.
"Who could be more suited," He said, "to have this gift of me
Than Baron Gui and Aelflaed, our hosts of Rowany?"

Sir Gui responded bravely , "Weīve always liked good Dons."
Then hastily looked round to see to whom to pass it on.
He called the Baronial Champion, but he had somehow gone
So his squire took the hit for him - Collette received the Don.

(Their Excellencies of Rowany, being cultured people, passed on the wine with this part-song interlude, to the tune "Come Again")

Julio!
A gift beyond compare,
A prize priceless and rare,
Passed on from hand to hand,
Behold this grog, largesse of Kings, so cheap,
So cheap white wine,
Vitales' legacy.

(And back to the original tune)

Collette asked of the Baron could she give the wine away
To a mighty fighter who had fought for her that day?
The King He blanched and looked around, rather desperately
For Heīd been bought by Collette in the Auction Tourney....

Oh yes....

So the wine came back. He thought He had got rid of it.
The wine came back. No-one would dare drink of it.
The wine came back. He just couldnīt give it away.

Lochac Crown Songs